Judging A Book By Its Cover

Every time I mention I have a Jamaican boyfriend, I hear the same thing:  “No worries, mon!”  And if they think they “know” anything about Jamaica, it’s that A) Jamaicans are laid back to the point of being comatose; B) everyone smokes a lot of weed, and C) everyone and everything moves at a snails’ pace.  These are about as true as the stereotypes that all Canadians live in igloos and say “eh” at the end of every sentence.  It kills me that so many people I meet seem to think that Jamaicans don’t care about things getting done and/or are a bunch of con artists.  I can tell you that the Jamaicans I’ve gotten to know are kind, generous, good-humored, hard-working people who put up with WAY more than we would ever dream of in our pampered end of the pool.  They get things done in spite of the way things run there. 

For instance, Jamaica does not have any such thing as unemployment insurance.  When you lose your job there, you have absolutely nothing to fall back on.  Watching the news there one night, I saw a story about a resort that was looking to fill twenty positions.  I think they said that it was three or four THOUSAND people that lined up all day long in the heat to apply for these same jobs.  Unemployment runs around nineteen percent there.  Nineteen percent!  Can you imagine what would happen if our government allowed that here?  People would be setting fire to Parliament Hill, or at least stringing up politicians by their toes…  That’s why you see so many people at the intersections there, selling everything from fruit to bottled water to sugar cane.   And the people you see chopping sugar cane or working construction sites in the blazing sun?  These are not lazy people.  The fact is that most Jamaicans have more than one job because there is no other way to survive in Jamaica.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise:  Jamaicans are extremely hard workers, and tough as nails.

And patient?  You don’t know patient until you’ve tried getting from one place to another in Jamaica without your own vehicle.  There is a bus system, but from what I hear from Nick, locals usually stick to taxis.  Everywhere you go on the main highway, you’ll see people on the side of the road with their arms stuck out sideways.  Basically, the driver will cram as many people as possible in the car/minibus to make it worth his while.  Likewise, if you take a minibus from its’ starting point (in Montego Bay, for instance), you’ll have to wait until it’s full before the driver will even think of leaving.  Which inevitably means you have to sit inside a roasting hot vehicle for half an hour, cheek by jowl with a variety of equally sweaty strangers.  Fun times.   The last time I was there, we shared a cab with a fisherman, who stuffed his catch and his fishing gear in the trunk.  Would we Canadians dream of putting up with this?  I think the answer to that is:  When pigs fly.  Jamaicans live with this baloney every single day and not once in all my time there did I ever hear someone being rude or abusive or anything but polite.  I wish I could say the same of Winnipeg Transit.

As for the whole “white lady tourist/Jamaican con man” thing:  Yes, there are plenty of white women of a “certain age” who end up in Jamaica, looking to hook up with some gorgeous young(er) Jamaican man.  Likewise, there are indeed Jamaican men who are only interested in finding a First World sugar momma.  Just like here in Canada, there are players out there.  When I started talking with Mr. Wrong, I knew that logically, there was no way he was interested in me for anything but money.  I have a mirror, folks.  So it was a given that when I went to visit, I would have to pay for most of the meals, the transportation, the entertainment.  He had nothing, and I was willing to save whatever I had to go there and have a good time.  I wasn’t under any illusions about that.  I just didn’t expect that by the end of the second day that I would have written him off completely and found the love of my life. 

No worries, mon.